there's nothing to be nice about, here.
i didnt like it.
it wasnt a necessary thing, in my opinion.
or maybe its just that im too bound by my minions.
so many thoughts were racing through my mind
it was the last thing i was concerned about, really.

and, you cant make people fit in, just like that.
somehow, its only gone to the extent,
that they showed you the existence of such walls constructed
yet, no move to let you in.
i, i cant bring myself to trust you, and you and you.
that's why, its like im a blank slate.
to many, in fact, but then again, once a week, how much can i say to you?
how much of my life would you understand.
oh, hows sch? hows life?
its fine, just fine, maybe a little stressful, a little busy.
flit on then, little social butterfly, to your next flower
being compled to visit so they dont feel left out.

funny.
i used to dismiss what adora said
about feeling no connection, no tangible ties to rope her to her church
to feel some vague sense of belonging
thinking that itd never come into the picture
at least i got where she was coming from.

its like how you mentioned,
that you never really quite got me figured out
maybe im just like him, to you
closed wealth of thoughts, opinions, penned with ebony ink.
i, i realise i dont really know me anymore.
for much of the time.